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Well hello there! I’m crawling out of my first-trimester-induced exhaustion and feeling so full of love and gratitude for this community we’ve built. With so many changes that have taken place thus far in 2020, the one constant has been showing up and serving my students; no matter what. It’s been a source of deep fulfillment, even when the last thing I wanted to do was peel my buns off the couch. Teaching you gives me purpose. I feel a deep sense of responsibility to my students to show up and hold space. If you’re reading this, thank you for allowing me to be your teacher and for accepting me so completely.
Pregnancy is both incredible and wildly humbling. Through the last few weeks, I’ve been reminded of so many lessons that are far too easy to take for granted. If you care to indulge me, read on.
Everything is Temporary
The exhaustion that I experienced in those early weeks was unlike anything I have ever, ever experienced. I had to adjust and readjust what it means to be and do my best, not just daily but hourly. I’m learning that every day is completely new and we don’t have any idea what it may hold; good, bad, or ugly (daily nausea is no joke!). Everything is truly temporary, even when it we’re going through the thick of things. Anchoring on this mantra has helped me through the bouts of emotion, exhaustion, and ever-changing body.
We create our experiences
We have the power to decide how to react to our circumstances, regardless of what they may be; we can choose to swim against the current or going with the flow. I’ve likened pregnancy to traveling in some ways. Before a trip you know the general idea of what’s going to happen: pack the bags, check your boarding pass, go through TSA security check, queue for your flight at the boarding gate, settle into your seat, travel, disembark, and so on. Same with being pregnant; women have been doing this since the beginning of time, we all know the mechanics and general outline: pee on stick, freakout call, setup doctor appointments, track every body change and worry constantly, regular ultrasounds and checkups, growing boobs and belly, morning sickness, more growing, much planning, nursery setup, labor, then baby!
What we don’t know is how our particular experience on any given day is going to be. Going back to the travel analogy. Perhaps the flight crew was running late, the aircraft needs unscheduled maintenance, a weather disaster is playing out, we get the grumpy TSA agent, or stuck next the lady with her yappy dog. So many variables can influence your travel experience. Yet here’s where the magic happens, and we have the choice to move through the motions begrudgingly or to let go and know that eventually we all end up at our destination. So why not choose to accept things as they are, knowing we cannot control everything, and enjoy (to the best of our ability) whatever comes up? This has been my philosophy with traveling and has worked so far in pregnancy as well.
Everyone is fighting their own battle
Not being able to tell folks what is going on or why I feel like death walking was another huge eye opener for me. Holding onto the secret of being pregnant for twelve whole weeks was so hard. We’ve heard it before, but it’s so very true that we really have no idea what anyone has going on at any given time. Thankfully we’re not all walking around with signs that lay out all of our most personal details and battles. Having compassion toward ourselves (yes, you!) and those around us (even that a-hole brake checking you in traffic!) goes a long way. We don’t need to know the inner workings of folks to be kind to our neighbors, colleagues, or strangers. The golden rule always applies.
While none of these are new lessons, they have been wonderful reminders that we are all so very human with so much going on behind the scenes. It serves us all to slow down a little bit and soften around our hard edges.
With deep love,
Paige